Dropping Self-Improvement
I was listening today to a talk given by Dr. Robert Holden called Shift Happens. One of the main things that struck me about it was his take on self-improvement - that how we begin something will be how we end it. If we come to self-improvement with an attitude that there is something wrong with us that we need to fix in order to step-up to life in a good way we will always end up feeling there is more to fix - we never “get there”. In all the good intentions to bring the best of who we are to life - with all our love for humanity and the world - that attitude is actually unkind - that constant dialogue of how we’ve gotta be better - if it were coming from the outside - like from a spouse - it’d be grounds for divorce.
He talked about practicing instead self-acceptance - where we relax into a deep knowing of our true nature - where we approach ourselves with love, curiosity, kindness and respect.
I feel that perhaps this self-improvement comes out of the fact that we are deeply caring people and it can be so disheartening to see that the vast majority of the problems on the planet right now came out of human behavior. It can trigger a feeling that we must improve ourselves to turn things around - that we have to fix ourselves because we keep messing things up so terribly on this planet. But, if you are around someone who is in the mindset of self-improvement and one who is in the mindset of self-acceptance which is more inspiring, healing, restorative to be around? The great mystics are approaching their path from the viewpoint of self-acceptance - even if they are doing many of the same practices as “self-improvers” their consciousness that they bring into the practice is one of deepening self-acceptance.
I am listening right now to the singer John Legend - he sings “Save Room for me. Save room for my love. Save room for a moment to be with me. ” It’s so powerful to drop into that safe, kind place of self-acceptance where we have saved room for ourselves - to live, to breath, to make mistakes, to grow, to love, to fall away from love and return again. That is the Divine within us because truly who we really are needs no improvement - we’re not cars or computers - we are incredible direct manifestations of the Divine.
*As you will see on this blog/site I love to share things I’ve found that I find delightful, useful, profound, enlightening.. In that spirit -
- Check out Robert Holden - Shift Happens Audio CD - order from www.onespiritinterfaith.org. He also has a book Shift Happens that you can buy at at OneSpirit as well.
- I HIGHLY HIGHLY Recommend “Once Again” CD - John Legend - it’s so luscious and beautiful.